Episode 41: How to Cope in a Crisis
I wanted to record a short episode that speaks to you if you’re going through a crisis.
This is a time where things are stripped back to what’s important and what’s not. In some ways, this can be really liberating, as you can pay attention to what you really need to and completely ignore everything else.
Keep life simple. Drop the expectations - this is the time to make do. People have different ideas of what ‘coping’ looks like. Whatever works for you is fine, even if it looks messy to someone else.
You do you. We’re all different people and have different preferences and resources, so what works for one person won’t be the right plan for someone else.
Try to allow uncertainty and crisis to guide you inwards. Even in the most rocky times, there’s a quiet place somewhere inside, like the eye of the storm. Some ways you can access that state might be through closing your eyes and just connecting with your breath, or the sounds around you. This allows your nervous system the chance to rest and reset.
Ask for help. Many of us pull-back when we’re not feeling ourselves, but I really want to encourage you to reach out to someone you trust and ask for help. People are often happy to help lighten the load.
Allow all the emotions. It’s not easy, but emotions are like the weather- they can be very changeable. And sometimes they can be a bit tangled, so sadness can show up as anger and we aren’t our most articulate or easy-to-read selves. It’s healthy to allow emotions to be expressed. If it helps you, you can move your body as an expression of the emotion, or journal what you’re feeling. If you’ve experienced a shock, you might be feeling quite numb. That’s ok and it can take a little time to feel settled enough for emotions to show up. Shock is often held in the diaphragm, the main breathing muscle, so a hand on the belly will help to breathe lower down in your body. Touch is a wonderful way of feeling safe so ask for a hug if that’s possible, or cuddle up with your cat or dog. If you’re on your own, then anything tactile like a comfy blanket or velvet will feel soothing.
Make a list of around 5-8 things that help you to feel better. Write that list on your wall calendar or in your diary and then try to do at least one thing on the list each day. And talking of days….You might find that you’re experiencing a whole range of moods - that’s totally normal and makes it even more important to go gently and check in with what you need, rather than imposing something that’s hard to keep up with.
Things that generally help me to feel better are being in nature, being in silence, moving my body, cooking, colouring in, taking a nap, giving myself a foot or hand massage.
Look for beauty and joy. Notice colours, textures, scents and sounds around you. If you’re feeling raw, you might need to dial things down so your senses can settle, but a sunrise, or blue sky, or a flower or the sound of someone giggling can be like sensory medicine.
Gratitude is a great thing to connect with, even in the darkest days. One of the most profoundly funny, joyous moments of my life was immediately after a close friend died many years ago. So in the depth of grief, it’s possible to access such pure joy. Gratitude is a balanced, steady state and it’s especially helpful if you’re swinging from one state to another. Noting down 3 things you are grateful for each morning or night-time can be an uplifting practice.
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