Episode 72: It’s Time to Rest

Today’s episode is the 3rd of a trio about ‘The Intuitive Way to Wellness’. I’ve shared the links in the notes for the previous two if you haven’t already heard them.

The topic of rest is one that I’m passionate about. I often joke that I’d like a plaque on a memory bench when I’m long gone saying I got people to have more naps.

My parents are East African Indians and like many that hail from hotter climates, an afternoon siesta is part of the natural order of the day. Even now, I love having a nap all together in the living room when I visit them. Me curled up on one sofa with a blanket and both of them sitting and bobbing their heads into a sweet slumber.

Just last week, I was so grateful for the support of my previous podcast guest Karen Brody, who held space for 3 days around the American election. Instead of watching the election results being drawn out over days, it felt nourishing to drop into stillness and ease the stress and anxiety. It felt good to support the efforts from afar, instead of adding more disruption to the mix. I loved Karen’s intention to encourage women to rest and then rise.

For so many months now, there has been an intensity around not being safe. This is particularly the case for women, people of colour, the LGBTQ community and those feeling the damage to society and to the natural world. This plays havoc with our health. Who knows how we can ever begin to process what this year has been, but slowing down to rest is much needed.

There’s a damaging narrative that links success to constant activity and productivity. We are cyclical beings and we need the chance to draw back into stillness so that we can resource ourselves. We can’t keep firing on all cylinders because we ultimately end up without fuel. Growth, healing and repair needs rest.

I’ve been in a group called the Creative Doer led by Anna Lovind. One of the most important learnings I’ve had from her work is that we need to create from overflow. This is a radical thought.

Instead of ‘giving our all’ and ending up burnout, there’s a view of creativity and therefore of true health that’s sustainable and grounded.

Rest doesn’t just mean sleep, although sleep is deeply relevant.

I’ll talk about sleep in another episode one day. For now, a quick change you could make is to stop having your phone in your bedroom. No more scrolling last thing at night or first thing in the morning. I love the concept of maximal results from minimum efforts and that’s one of those quick wins that is easy to do.

Rest is not sleep

It’s not a spa day.

It’s not a reward.

Rest means to cease work or movement. It means blank space, or buffer. Nothing to have to do and nowhere to have to be. Not being ruled by the clock or the to-list. It’s a sense of spaciousness and ease.

Busy isn’t always better. Like a toddler who’s up way past their bedtime, we can lose all sense of direction when we’re tired and stretched beyond our limits. We lose the chance to be intentional and to have perspective on what we need. Rest helps us to integrate and to be purposeful about what we need next.

Much of my work is with women during pregnancy and the early weeks and months of the postpartum period. There are so many aspects of a woman’s cycle that are about honouring rest: the winter of the period, the two week wait after ovulation when you’re trying to conceive. The first trimester of pregnancy, the last weeks before birth. The fourth trimester. Menopause. Rest is essential in all of these phases and I’ve found it can really help to lessen the intensity of physical and emotional symptoms.

Rest is essential to stay healthy and whole.

As a society we don’t tend to value the pause. But the tide is turning. Especially for people seeking a life of purpose and not just mindless rushing.

My dear friend Danielle North has created a whole business stemming from her experience of burnout after leading a first and furious life as a business coach in Singapore. The tagline of her first book ‘Pause’ is about ‘how to press pause before life does it for you’. It’s easier and more enjoyable to create the space for rest, rather than to backtrack when you have no other option but to stop.

So how can you find rest?

One of the beauties of rest is that it’s within you. You don’t have to outsource it.

Excuse me if you’ve heard me say it before, but floor doctor is the best friend. You need nothing more than a floor to lay on, and something to cover yourself with. If you’ve got the luxury of cosy props and a hot water bottle, that’s great, but you don’t need anything more than your body on the floor, doing nothing for a few moments. Allow your body to melt away tension. Feel the support of the ground beneath you, especially if you’re someone that always feels responsible.
Take a rest from outside connection. That might mean using a social media blocker, or having rituals around how often you check your emails or apps or the news.
Create moments where you’re not multitasking. Walking without a podcast in your ear. Eating without emailing. Sitting to drink your tea and savour the senses.
If you’re feeling too busy to be able to rest, you might need to prepare to rest. Maybe some batch cooking or leaving yourself space in your diary.

I hope you’ve enjoyed these 3 episodes of the Intuitive Way to Wellness. From the 15th of November, you can join me for 7 days of free tips so that you can learn to listen to the deep wisdom of your body.