“If you can’t find what you’re looking for, create it...it’s important to reclaim spaces”

Skylar Liberty Rose is a writer who empowers women to embrace aging and stay seen in a world that asks them to become invisible.

Born in London, Skylar moved to New York City when she was 40. Her most recent project, a 2020 documentary diary, A Woman in the World, was selected for inclusion in the U.S. National Women's History Museum's "Women Writing History: A Coronavirus Journaling Project.”

Her course Visible is launching in Spring 2021 and is designed to help women develop the courage and confidence to be visible in their forties and far beyond. She is currently working on publishing her first book, a collection of poetry charting a personal journey of self-acceptance.

In this episode, we talked about:

For many years, Skylar has worked with women, specifically help to find their courage through creativity. She started to feel disillusioned with social media and the online world, seeing fewer women her age and less authenticity. She wanted to change the conversation and began a project called ‘A Woman in the World’ - a photo diary about the experience of a woman aging. She posted black and white photos each day for the duration of 2020 and had the intention of telling the truth, rather than curating content

Talking about perimenopause, body changes, ageing, identity and living through a pandemic
A lack of voices about ageing experiences
The year-long project evolved into working specifically with women about ageing
“If you can’t find what you’re looking for, create it...it’s important to reclaim spaces”
“When we’re only sharing flawless photos we’re not making space for our real lives”
“Social media can be a great place for connection, especially people who feel other”
“Our value seems dependent on our desirability. That’s so messed up. We are so much more than that”
Positive aspects of aging have included: true sense of power, not doubting, looking more inwardly and getting more comfortable with yourself. No longer seeking external validation and living with a sense of courage and “if not now, when?”
In the US alone, there are 30 million between 40 and 55
The relentless pressure on ‘having it all’ by your 30s - to look perfect, have a relationship, have a business/ career and be a mother. It’s stifling
Ageing doesn’t have to be a loss
Stop allowing our self-worth to be externally determined by the male gaze, social media, Hollywood movies etc
The barbed comment of “looking good for your age”
If an older woman can get a role in Hollywood, she has fewer words and less screen time
It’s important to have real faces modelled, without being ridiculed
The young, thin, white able-bodied woman as the object of perfection and desire
Intersectionality
Lasting change requires pushback and commitment
“Our skin, desires and needs change and need to be normalised without shame
Creating community for dialogue about the topics that haven’t been talked about and to be seen and heard in a safe space. “The power of coming together and not suffering in silence”
Ageing isn’t something to be ashamed of
Exercise can be made into smaller chunks of movement throughout the day, where you don’t even need to change into workout clothes
Bone health to prevent osteoporosis
Feeling good as an important measure of connecting with yourself
Rituals such as meditating, lighting incense, stretching and setting intentions for the day
Making space for creativity in our day and not thinking of it as frivolous. People often think that they are not creative, but art is for everyone and it’s an affirmative action for ourselves. The act of creating is valuable