Episode 77: Sexual Pleasure, Removing Shame and Embodying Aliveness, with Mangala Holland

“She’s on a mission to help women become empowered through loving themselves fiercely, celebrating their sexuality, and overcoming the fear, guilt and shame that keeps them playing small”

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Mangala Holland is a Women’s Empowerment and Sexuality coach, and international facilitator of women’s groups, retreats and workshops.

She’s on a mission to help women become empowered through loving themselves fiercely, celebrating their sexuality, and overcoming the fear, guilt and shame that keeps them playing small.

Having over a decade’s experience in the industry, her super power is helping women become deeply connected to their body, pleasure and orgasmic potential, which is the natural birthright of every woman.

She’s trained over 25 intimate bodyworkers in Australia and places a strong emphasis on self-love, embodiment and empowerment, teaching in a no-bs, grounded, dogma-free style.

In this episode, we talked about:

Mangala recently hosted a summit: ‘Vagina, Pussy, Vulva: Lifting Taboos of Female Sexuality, Power and Wisdom’. She brought together interviews with experts on themes such as birth, orgasms, menstruation, trauma and other topics that are still taboo in the world today
There’s no separation between sexual energy, healing, pleasure, birth, menopause, connecting to the menstrual cycle and other bodily experiences
Mangala helps her clients to reconnect to their body when they are feeling disconnected and shutdown
“All of this wisdom is connected”
The term ‘yoni’ is used in sacred spirituality circles, but could be interpreted as cultural appropriation
Shaming the body parts
Signs of numbing out: loss of libido and pleasure, being stuck in the head- therapy - you can’t always solve things from the level of the mind
Experiencing bodily sensations and orgasms
Sex education at school is about not getting pregnant or catching sexually transmitted diseases, but sexual pleasure, boundaries and consent weren’t talked about
Taking the shame out of female pleasure
Spirituality and sexuality
Sexual energy is lifeforce. When it flows freely, we’re more productive and in a better mood and relaxed
In classical tantra, shakti is described as a ‘current of energy’
Everything is sacred, and the body is divine
Pleasure in a wider context, not just sexually. Seeing the pleasure in everyday life through the 5 senses
Being conditioned to be ‘ a good girl’, making it difficult in sexual expression to make sound or to move the body in certain ways, or restricting expression. The wild, spontaneity gets squashed and suppressed
When you know yourself well, you know fully what to orientate towards and having clarity about what you say no to. A ‘no’ feels like a contraction or pulling away rather than an expansion or softening
You need structure so that the energy can flow
Not having sex because of obligation
Waiting until you have a clear decision
There are many lineages of classical tantra. It involves prescribed practices working with deities, rituals, pujas, fire ceremonies etc.
Offering the 5 elements as a way of worshipping
Merging and becoming one with the divine
Masculine / feminine - shiva/ shakti
Safety in neo-tantra/ yoga/ meditation circles. Manipulation and power abuse that takes place - often where charismatic male teachers sleep with their students who are seeking healing from trauma
Red flags: being expected to sleep with the teacher to “have your blockages healed”. Ask others about teachers and then check how you feel for yourself. Trust your own response. Get your boundaries in place before attending a workshop. Looking for a female teacher you can trust
It can be confronting to be the only one to say no in a group
Creativity as a full-bodied, felt-sense
Connecting with the soul of her business. Being the channel for what’s meant to come through and waiting until inspiration comes
Holding a more inclusive space for marginalised people including women of colour and trans people. Talking about white privilege. If you want to hold safer spaces for everybody, you have to do the difficult work and clear blindspots
What do notions of feminine mean? Choosing for ourselves rather than just being conditioned
Exploring celtic mythology, connecting to the land and the ancient matriarchal societies that worshipped the female form
Embodiment practices to find her own truth rather than being imposed, and supporting others in the same way to have their own experience. Studying with Michaela Boehm. Learning to differentiate between dogma and truth
How to connect with the senses: slowing down, tea drinking, savouring chocolate, gentle touch on the back of your neck or face. The more subtlety we can feel, the more we can feel pleasure and more aliveness.
“There is wonder and magic and beauty everywhere”