Episode 82: Reimagining Community for Better Health
Photo credit Rhys Kentish @unsplash
This is a bit of an unusual topic coming from me, an introvert who’s quite happy doing her thing who can feel a bit awkward in groups. Various lockdowns have really brought it home to many of us how much we need one another. Whether it’s having a chat with a neighbour, phoning a friend when you’re having a hard day or sending a care package to someone in need, our lives are enhanced by people.
One of the most striking things about seeing clients in the last few months is hearing how tough the loneliness and isolation has been.
Pregnant women who’ve had to go to scans on their own, and sometimes received sad news all alone.
Couples with a new baby who miss out on visits and in-person groups, and their babies missing out on being cuddled by others.
People who live on their own and haven’t had a hug for months.
People feeling alone and isolated with grief, anxiety and overwhelm.
I’ve purposely moved clinics in the past to have more of a sense of a working community, because it can be a bit isolating if you don’t have a team or colleagues around. Even a quick chat in the corridor in between seeing clients is so nourishing.
I’ve been reflecting a lot on how we find community and trying to imagine what life would look like if community was give more priority.
A sense of belonging is essential to our health. It’s part of our sense of safety and necessary for the release of oxytocin, a hormone and neurotransmitter that’s important for people of all ages and stages of life.
I remember the early days when Brexit was first being talked about. A number of clients from overseas who had made the UK their home no longer felt welcome here. It felt like a background level of discomfort that might not have made them seek out support, but it was impacting their general wellness. From an energy perspective, this is a first or root chakra issue. It relates to our sense of being connected or grounded and is located in the base of the spine. Spiritually this connects to the truth that ‘all is one’.
Starlings flock together in ‘murmurations’, a mass of thousands of birds swirling and whirling in the sky. It’s one of the most awe-inspiring sights in nature. The sense of oneness even though there are thousands of individual birds moving in unison. We have so much we can learn from the natural world, rather than too much focus on the self.
We need one another. We are better together.
For the last 3 years I’ve been going to Amsterdam 4 times a year for a women’s group. The friendships I’ve made with other women there have been so solid and supportive. It’s great to have like-minded friends who are equipped with the same body-based tools such as non-linear movement. Whilst we can’t travel right now, we’ve regularly been in touch to practice together on zoom or have a check-in. I receive deep listening and presence that I don’t necessarily get from many other people who engage at the level of chit-chat.
I was reading an article about Marcus Rashford, the young footballer who plays for Manchester United, who’s been such a force about tackling child food poverty. He’s galvanised corporates and the public into taking action. In the article he talks about the gratitude he has for teamwork. “My success is their success.
“As with my community, each of those boys in my academy teams made me the player and man I am today, and I have never taken that for granted. We were on this journey together from six years old and they are still a part of mine.” He credits the people around him for the sacrifices they made from his brother taking him to training to his coaches.
“It’s only at my age now that I realise those subtle acts were my community wrapping their arms around me and saying, ‘We have you and we will protect you.’ That’s really special.”
I’m sure I’ve talked about it in a previous episode, but I’m a big fan of the Blue Zones projects, which look at longevity around the world. One of the key aspects of people who live to over 100 in sound body and mind is a sense of belonging. We need to radically rethink our provisions for people as they age. Having grown up in an extended family, I have lived with that blessing of seeing that elders are valuable and precious.
There are so many interesting social projects where nursery-age children have mixed with elderly people and seen mutual benefits to health and happiness.
Or university students avoiding debt by living with an older person who they can do simple housework for. I know there’s no golden solution, but we need to look at health from a social lens. Healthcare should never be something that only those with privilege can have access to.
And initiatives don’t have to be costly. Parkrun for example is free and there are events all over the world now. Until they had to stop, I was volunteering at my local parkrun and really enjoyed it. There’s something uplifting to come together and cheer small children on as they try to make it around the park as quickly as they can. Positivity breeds positivity.
When I spoke to Robin Grille, a child psychologist, in a previous episode, he talked about how each child needs 4 adults to strengthen and support them. In addition to their parents, this could be grandparents or aunts and uncles or close friends. The idea of a nuclear family is outdated and doesn’t offer enough support. We somehow need to return to the idea of a village.
There are so many ways to connect, and life is getting busier and buzzier. But it’s a basic human need to be seen and heard.
When it comes to health changes, some of the most powerful ones are where a group of people work together - there’s a multiplier effect that gives impressive results. There are so many examples of support groups and in-person and online communities that help people to deal with addiction, mental health issues, infertility, as well as learn to meditate or run and so many other aspects of wellbeing.
I’d love to hear from you about how you find community and how it’s affected your health and wellbeing.
Message me @avnitouch on Instagram or twitter.
Resources:
Blue Zones book and
Podcast episode of ‘Speak From the Body’ with Robin Grille
Podcast episode of ‘Speak From the Body’ about Oxytocin with Kerstin Uvnas-Moberg
Keep in Touch with Avni:
Sign up for my free course ‘5 Days to Wellness with Ease’